Story Segment: Chased by a Troll

 “Hurry!” Saphira called over her shoulder.

After skidding around several corners, almost bashing her head into a wall, and tripping over Ember, she and everyone else finally made it to the kitchens, where Saphira was already waiting.

“Here.” she thrust a large pouch into Dakota's hands. “Enough provisions for three days. For all of you.”

“Thanks.”

“As you American Crotori say, 'no problem.' But we need to leave now, or we will have a problem.”

Dakota heard a crash, and a panicked shout that reverberated through the halls.

“They've reached the castle borders!”

“Come on!” Saphira cried, and she took off, her body a blur. “There is a secret passage on the other side of the castle. We can make it if we hurry!”

Dakota stuffed the bulging pouch into her belt with difficulty and ran for her life.

They were almost there when there was another resounding crash, and the wall on Dakota's left caved in.

She instinctively ducked and dove forward, scraping her knees and skidding to a stop near a pedestal with a vase on it. She heard screams and shouts of pain as she lifted herself of the floor. She looked up and gasped in horror.

A troll the size of Dakota's house stood in the dusty hole in the wall. Naked except for a filthy loincloth, the troll's muscles rippled with power as he roared a loud blast that made Dakota feel like her ears would fall off. His scaly skin looked as tough as his two horns that curled from the top of his head, and the sneer he displayed on his ugly, piglike face was more menacing than the club he was swinging threateningly in the air.

What do you think? 

Just to add --- I found this awesome blog called Go Teen Writers, and one of their posts were very helpful, so I wanted to share it with you. Here it is:

http://goteenwriters.blogspot.com/2012/08/ask-editor-what-will-get-your.html

Enjoy(:

And, just so you know, instead of the elves' kingdom being Polarya (which was a little weird, I'll admit it ☺ ) I decided to use another name I made up -- Verra Laagila. (vehr-uh luh-gee-luh), Do you like this better?